Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
