Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
