After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The air was thick with penises
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
