Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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