i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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