I just saw a hot homeless man
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
