It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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