i just made my gag reflex go away.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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