Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
