Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
