You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
