mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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