I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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