And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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