He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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