I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
