everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
