i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize