The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
