**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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