normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
