he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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