halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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