real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
