you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
