just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
