You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
