Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
