Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
