What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
