Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
