I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
