Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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