Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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