too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My dick has a subreddit
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize