He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
