you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
