just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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