She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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