My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
