Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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