So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
