If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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