we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
