He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
