I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
