No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
