how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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