just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
