I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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