i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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