We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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