this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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