He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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