I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
