Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
