I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
