Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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