I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize