So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
