We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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